Matters of the Heart (The Lilac)

Completed

~

His name is Poetry and we are desperately in love. 


1)

Starts with a soar,

ends with a break.

 

–Love


2)

“Give me something to write about, sweetheart.”


3)

I like them headstrong

and neurotic.

 

—What’s your type?


4)

I’ve always had a sweet tooth.

 

Maybe that’s why I

was drawn to the boy

with cheeks the colour of

cotton candy,

the boy with the low,

sugary voice.

 

Maybe that’s why I fell

in love with you,

why I melted like

chocolate in your hands.

 

—Candied Heart


5)

Every time I see you,

my heart somersaults

violently in my chest.

 

—Acrobatics 


6)

“How much do you love me?”

“To the moon and back, then twice round.”


7)

My sweet, starry-eyed thing,

you could never see

past it, could you?

 

You could never see past

that grandiose stupor of yours;

those honeyed illusions,

those impossible dreams.

 

Maybe you never will.

 

For the light in your irises

will eventually die,

and once you begin to see things

for what they truly are,

your heart will break.

 

And once your heart breaks, that’s it.

 

You’re a goner.


8)

Twelfth grade–

still never been kissed.

 

—17 going on 18


9)

Chasing after

this dream

is like chasing

after butterflies;

 

I get close,

only so it can fly

away to some height,

I can never reach.


10)

You are the rejection.

 

You are the crossed stars.

 

You are the heartbreak.

 

—Rosaline 


11)

He will forever be my favourite heartbreak.

 

—Contradictions


12)

But darling,

I don’t think you will ever be able to find

another girl

who will write poetry for you…

 

—Serenade


13)

It’s raining in

the cosmos tonight.

 

The sky is weeping for you,

my darling,

weeping for you and

the love you lost.

 

The stars have shattered,

 

my darling–

shattered and estranged

the fragments of your heart.

 

You see,

this galaxy is just as broken as you

and

just as sad.


14)

Perhaps the stars have simply crossed

and gone their separate ways.

 

Perhaps I was destined to love

only so I could shatter.


15)

“He loves me.”

“You’re delusional.”


16)

I wished for you on

shooting stars

and on dandelion seeds.

 

I wished

that things would turn out

the way I needed them

to turn out.

 

But they did not

turn out the way

I needed them

to turn out.

 

So tell me,

if I pepper these words in stardust,

if I press dandelions to these pages,

would you grant my wish?

 

–To Him


17)

And that night,

her weeping was so great

that even the mighty Poseidon

would have succumbed to her tears.

 

—The Great Flood 


18)

His eyes reminded her

so much of the sea,

that every time she looked at him

she felt like she was drowning.

 

—Pneumonia 


19)

She thought he would be

the one to catch her

when things got bad.

 

Little did she know that

he would be the reason

she fell in the first place.

 

—Unwoven 


20)

I’ve been driving myself crazy

because all I can think about is

who you might be kissing at midnight

and how that girl won’t be me.

 

And I realize that this New Year

is going to hurt just as

much as the last one.

 

—Resolutions


21)

And the heart broke the ribs,

crushed by the intensity of its beating.

 

—Untameable 


22)

“I’m sorry he broke your heart.”

“So am I.”


23)

I can’t stop writing about him.

 

Even when I’ve run out of words,

I want to keep going.

 

I want to write about you

until it drives me mad.

 

You, darling, are my muse–

my wonderful, awful muse.

 

—Homage


24)

My sweet supernova,

I watch you in your

last moment of radiance

before you burn out.

 

One last moment and then–

 

nothing

 

as the stars in your eyes

dissipate mournfully

into the darkness.

 

These cruel heavens have made

an absent vessel out of you,

an empty crater that is home to

a black hole pulsing

where a heart used to be.

 

You must understand one thing, darling:

this galaxy was never meant for you.

 

This galaxy does not love you,

my sweet supernova.


 

25)

Darling,

there are splinters in your heart

and shards stuck in your palms.

 

That is why it hurts every time you love,

every time you try to hold someone’s hand.

 

—Baggage 


26)

You guard your heart

with plastic army men

as a precaution

to ensure

that no one passes

this barricade.

 

No.

 

Not after last time.

 

Last time–

when you thought it was

safe to let them in.

 

Little did you know

how great

the casualties would be.

 

You know better now.


27)

Why is it that

every sad song

reminds me of you,

darling?

 

—The ribbon around my finger


28)

And maybe that’s why

she felt the need to dress

the way that she did–

 

Lacey stockings.

 

Blouses with alarmingly

low necklines.

 

Skirts long enough

to cover up the scars on

her thighs but not long enough

to be considered “modest”.

 

Because her face was never

pretty enough to be kissed,

and her poetry alone could not

make him fall in love with her.

 

—Easy


29)

With wine-stained lips

and a broken heart beating

heavily in her chest,

she mourns over

what could have been.

 

—Wistful


30)

“You know something? One day you’ll be real sorry, ” she told him.

“For what?” he scoffed.

“For not loving me when you had the chance.”


31)

But darling,

were you ever really in love with him,

or were you simply in love with the way

he made you feel beautiful

when no one else could?

 

—Narcissism 


32)

I think I’m starting

to fall out of love with you–

please, Darling,

do something before it’s too late,

before you’ve lost me for good.


33)

I am in love with

a daydream;

a phantom kiss,

a haunt upon my skin.

 

He is but a mirage

of a boy that ripples

every time I reach

out to touch him,

a fluttering image that

reminds me of what

was never meant to be mine

in the first place.

 

—Chimera


34)

She danced to the

rhythm of his heart until

the soles of her feet

turned black,

until she fell to the ground,

lips quivering,

her lungs heaving–

this love had left her breathless.


 

35)

We have a twisted

kind of love,

Darkness and I.

 

See, I have always been

such a terrible flirt and

He has always been

so terribly captivating.

 

—This endless affair 


36)

“My love, I know you dream of me.”

“My love, these dreams are but nightmares.”

 

—The bedsheets are weeping


37)

“This pain inside of you,

this aching in your heart–

they call it love.

 

—Thorns


38)

And even after all you’ve done,

I still manage to find a way to love you.

 

–But give me the right ammunition, and I promise to pull the trigger


39)

Alfred Lord Tennyson once wrote,

“Tis better to have loved and lost

then to never have loved at all.”

 

But is it really?

 

— I’ve lost everything


40)

The wedding bells

have turned to

funeral knells.

 

–White has never looked good on her anyway


41)

My heart breaks for you.

 

My soul mourns for you.

 

But my mind tells me

that I should have known better.


42)

If I say please real nice,

if I kneel at your feet and

bow my head in surrender,

 

–would you give me a chance?


43)

“There’s no point in chasing after

something that is faster than you.”

 

“There’s no point in chasing

after anything at all.”

 

–If he loved you, you wouldn’t be out of breath right now


44)

She will never love you.

 

But I will.

 

I do.

 

— But…I’m not her, right?


45)

They say it’s hard to love someone

who doesn’t know how to love themselves.

 

Is that why you couldn’t love me?

 

–Boys don’t fall in love with sad girls


46)

He was a hopeless romantic.

He just wasn’t a hopeless romantic for me.


47)

“He’s hurt you so many times.

I don’t understand why you keep holding on.”

 

“That’s the definition of insanity, isn’t it?

Doing the same thing repeatedly,

but expecting different results each time?”


48)

Bleed, sad heart.

 

Bleed like it’s all

you’ve ever known.

 

Because it is all you’ve ever known.

 

Bleed until the poison has leached

from your veins.

 

Bleed until there is nothing left.

 

–Maybe this is the only way to find peace


40)

Falling in love with you

taught me how to hate myself.


41)

They say you always remember

your first love.

 

—But what if I want to forget?


42)

“If he wanted to be with you,

he would be with you.”

 

–Part of me has always known, I just didn’t want to believe it


43)

Hit me, darling.

 

Yes.

 

You heard me.

 

Go on.

 

I dare you.

 

Hit me.

 

Do it.

 

A black eye,

some bruised ribs–

anything is better than

a broken heart, after all.

 

–Sometimes pain is the best medicine


44)

My feelings for him

exist in a place somewhere

between love and hatred.

 

–Dilemmas


45)

“You deserved better.”

“No. I needed to be better.”


46)

Sweet puppet master,

won’t you sever these ties?

Won’t you cut the strings

that bind me to you?

 

Please…

 

–Your puppet girl


47)

“But I love him.”

“You shouldn’t.”


48)

“So what now?”

 

“You have two options:

you either move on,

or you don’t.

It’s up to you to decide.”


49)

“What if I’m not ready to let go?”

 

“I don’t think anyone is ever truly ready

to let go of someone they love.

The only thing we can do is try to convince

ourselves that letting go is the right decision.

That if we don’t move on, we risk

short-changing ourselves.”

 

–”I’m afraid some things will always hurt”


50)

“But It won’t hurt forever, right?”

 

“I promise you it will hurt for

a long time. But it will

only hurt forever if you let

it hurt forever.”


51)

As the sun conceals itself

behind the clouds,

the tulips close in

on themselves

and the tree branches

quiver in nervous anticipation.

 

–A storm is brewing, darling, and it’s brewing just for you


52)

You will grow accustomed

to her absence

the same way she was forced

to grow accustomed to yours.

 

–Karma


53)

I want him to text me

just so I can ignore him.


54)

Did she lose him?

Or had he lost her?

 

–Both


55)

Do not expect

love letters and

good night text messages.

 

Do not expect me to be the girl

I used to be–

the girl who fell

in love with you.

 

That girl is gone.

 

You destroyed her,

remember?


56)

Perhaps icing him out

is the only way to

regain the warmth

of your own light.

 

–Someone will die of hypothermia, but this time it is not going to be me


57)

Maybe one day,

I will learn to love

you again.

 

And maybe on that day,

I will decide to write about you

the way I used to.

 

But, until, then

I think I might be done

with poetry for a while.


58)

But, oh, could it be, a new love?


59)

Different boy,

same old aching in your heart.


60)

It used to be that

every time I saw you,

I would get butterflies.

 

But now I can’t even

hear someone speak

your name without

feeling sick to my stomach.

 

—And that is not what love is supposed to feel like


61)

Don’t you do that.

 

Don’t you dare do that.

 

Don’t you dare stand there

and tell me I look pretty.

 

Don’t you dare give me hope

when you and I both know

you’ve never wanted me

and that you never will.


62)

You loved her,

just not enough.

 

You loved her,

just not in the way

she needed you to.


63)

How foolish I’ve been

thinking that

a boy like you could ever–

would ever

fall for a girl like me.


64)

You are as intoxicating

as nicotine

and just as lethal.


65)

I flinch

every time you put

your arm around her,

every time you brush

the hair away from her face.

 

Because you used to touch

me like that–

like you loved me.


66)

I don’t just want you.

I need you.


67)

“A penny for your thoughts?”

“No need, darling. We both know my thoughts already belong to you.”


68)

The boy in my daydreams

is the not the same boy

who occupies my reality.

 

For the boy in my daydreams

loves me in a way

you never could.

 

In a way you never would.


69)

I have two great vices in my life:

  1. Rum and
  2. Loving you.

 

—I can’t decide which one is worse 


70)

Love is supposed

to give you a reason to live.

 

It is not supposed to make

you wish you were dead.


71)

BREAKING NEWS:

GIRL DIES OF A BROKEN HEART


Source:

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